Motherhood and Jesus

Motherhood is filled with lots of happy, wonderful times, and also very tired and irritable times. Not irritable in that my daughter is irritating, but in that my house is a mess, dinner rarely makes it on the table, and I hate going to work because I want to spend every moment with my little girl. I am trying to find that balance of Mom, wife, empolyee, daughter, and sister. I know it will come eventually, but it is frusterating right now that things aren't organized. Not that they were perfect before, but you know what I mean. I am also really trying to read my Bible more, and I listen to Christian radio the majority of the time now. I suddenly have this hunger for God's word, and I am learning so much right now. My Mom was telling me that God created marriage to give us an idea of the kind of relationship God wants to have with us. That really struck me in that I don't do that at all. I pray when I feel I need to, and i would occasionally read my Bible. I think I am doing much better, and I hope that I will continue with all this. Reading the Bible in chronological order has helped a lot too, it makes more sense to me in a way. Before, I would get distracted thinking, "I wonder when this happened?", and my mind would wander. I really want to learn as much as I can, so I can teach my little girl all about Jesus. I want to be able to answer her questions, as well as anyone elses questions accurately. I guess these are my thoughts for the day...

Stole it from Briana!

1. When is your engagement anniversary?
Sometime in late March, I can't remember the exact date! Thats horrible!
2. When is your marriage anniversary?
March 18, 2003
3. How long have you known your spouse?
about 8 years give or take a few months. We kind of knew each other in highschool, but we
never talked.
4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
Almost a year through the mail/email, but only 2 weeks in person.
5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time?
At a friends house.
6. Do you have any children?
YES!
7. How many?
1 beautiful baby girl :)
8. Do you have any house pets?
3 dumb dogs :)
9. Do you own a house or rent?
own
10. Do you live in the city or the country?
Country
11. What is one of your favorite activities together?
Watching movies, camping
12. When did you first kiss?
I don't really remember the day or anything, I think it was when he dropped me off at my house
13. Is this the church you were married in?
We got married outside at a place in gilbert, but one of the pastors at my old church married us there.
14. Do you work or stay at home?
I have to work :( But I am thankful for my job and the money that comes with it!
15. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
We didn't go anywhere, he had to go right back to North Carolina to get ready to deploy to Iraq.
16. What was the funniest gift you gave when dating?
Gosh I have no idea...
17. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About a month
18. Who asked who out?
I don't really think either of us did. We were asked to go on a double with some friends.
19. Where do each of you go to school?
We don't
20. Which situation is hardest on you as a couple?
Probably that we are always broke!
21. Are you from the same hometown?
Yes
22. Did you go to the same school?
Highschool yes
23. Who is smarter?
I think both of us are smart in different ways. We each have our strengths and weaknesses
24. Who is more sensitive?
Oh definitley me!
25. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Hmmm.... probably Ralbertos or Chubby Chucks
26. Who has the craziest exes?
Definitley him, I don't have any crazy exes.
27. Who has the worst temper?
Him
28. Who does the cooking?
Me, I love to cook!
29. Who is more social?
Me again
30. Who is the neat freak?
Neither of us lol
31. Who is more stubborn?
Him
32. Who hogs the bed?
Neither of us, we both like to hog te covers though!
33. Who wakes up earlier?
Probably me
34. Where was your first date?
Some movie, I think it was a comedy
35. Who had more boyfriends/girlfriends?
Not sure
36. Do you get flowers often?
No, he knows not to get me flowers. They just die, and to me they are a waste of money lol I'd rather get my toes done!
37. How do you spend the holidays?
Usually we all get together at my aunts, it ought to be interesting this year though with our new addition!
38. Who is more jealous?
Him, I'm not a jealous person
39. How long did it take to get serious?
Not long, his first letter to me started out "To my future wife" haha
40. Who eats more?
Hmmm, probably him.
41. Who does the laundry?
We both do it
42. Who's better with th computer?
Me
43. Leave a piece of advice to other couples: Do things that the other likes to do sometimes, even if you don't like to do it.

Catching up

I was writing in my the journal that I am keeping for Brooke last night, and I started thinking about the crazy things I remember doing when I was a kid. I remember trying to figure out how to make the trampoline more fun, by smearing peanut butter on it... I recall that I wanted to "jump and slide" at the same time haha. Thinking about this one incident makes me wonder what kind of trouble Brooke will get herself into, and how I will handle it when things happen.
Eli and I are starting a Bible study soon, and we are really excited about it. We have been wanting to get into a study, but just never did because of work schedules and such. This one will work out really well for us though, and I can't wait to start digging in to God's word. I want to raise our daughter in the way that God wants us to, and the more we know about Him, the more we can teach her about Him. I pray that He gives us all the tools and wisdom we need to raise her through Him.
She is getting so big! She has hit the 11 lb mark, and she has really filled out since birth. She is smiling so much now, and she has started to squeal when she's excited. I bought some of the Bumgenius diapers today, and I am excited to try them out, and hopefully save some money on disposables. Me being back to work still means we are broke :(. I never thought I wouldn't like being at work, but now that it means being away from her, I hate being at work. I've never wanted to be a stay at home mom so bad. She is such a sweet gift from God!
My brother was married a few weeks ago, in Hawaii. I was disappointed that none of us could be there, but thats how they wanted things. He and I have always been very different, and I can't imagine my family not being at my wedding :(
On another note, reading other's blogs inspires me to start keeping up with this blog, and also to find something in my life that I need to give up. I think in my case, its going to have to be sweets (unless they are sugare free/fat free). I have gained weight since having Brooke, and I need to lose it! We have family pictures coming up soon, so hopefully I can lose some before then. I have such a terrible sweet tooth!
I am also starting to read "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, I got it in the mail today. Other than that I think thats it in my exciting little life!

She's here!

Well Miss Brooke Addyson is finally here and I have taken wayyyy too long to write this. The labor and delivery wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, although the most emotional thing I have ever been through. You don't realize how much you can love someone until you have a child! She is beautiful and very sweet. She is now 2 months old and she is starting to smile a lot. She is getting to be a lot of fun! God has blessed us so immensley! Here are some pictures, hopefully I can write more soon, getting on the computer is harder now with a baby!

It has been a few weeks since I have gotten on here, so I will try and catch you up to speed. I have grown quite large in the past few weeks and have gotten the first of what I am sure will be many stretch marks... yay... I ended up with salmonella 2 weeks ago and it was HORRIBLE. I am glad to be over that ordeal. My friend Jenni threw me a beautiful baby shower this past weekend, and we had a lot of fun, and got a lot of great stuff for baby Lincoln. I had fun staying at my aunt's house for the weekend, it was great to cathc up and hang out.

I don't think that I have ever been as itchy as I am now! My belly has to constantly be scratched and I hate it! We have pretty much finished the nursery, we painted it yellow and got the crib and dresser/changer set up. We also found a glider with an ottoman, which was at the top of my list to get so I am a happy momma :) Amber gave us a carseat that is going to work perfectly for us also, it's neatral in color so we have the one thing we need to bring baby home now! Before the baby shower Jenni came up and took some preggo pics, so I will post them with this. They came out great, we were really happy with them.

I am starting to get a little freaked out now that I am in my thrid trimester. At first it seemed like it was taking forever to feel the baby kick and to get a preggo belly, but now that I am there I am starting to get a little nervous for the delivery part. I know that God will take care of us, but the unknown can be a little scary! Keep us in your prayers please! Anyway, I think thats all for now!

Ultrasound and kicks

Well I finally had my 20 week ultrasound, and it was really really neat. My parents were able to come with Eli and I, and they enjoyed it too. Everything was perfect! It made everything that much more real, the first ultrasound the baby looked like a pea so it was hard to imagine a baby inside me. The ultrasound tech kept saying "its" hands and "its" feet, and Eli thinks she slipped and said "his" thigh... She looked at us and said "no, I said "its", pretty adamantly. I guess we will find out in a few months for sure! The baby is kicking all the time now, on a daily basis. At first it used to freak me out, but now I put my hand on my tummy and wait for more. In a way being a girl can really suck sometimes but men can't experience this. Even though I am scared out of my mind, I know I will be able to get through this one way or another. Here are some ultrasound pics :)

Scary Discovery channel

So we are now starting to get the nursery room cleaned out, and what a mess of clutter we have accumulated! I think i spent 2 hours just throwing stuff away, but also going through old pictures that I found that were fun to see again. I can't decide whether to do the nursery in Noah's Ark or in Ducks. I really like them both, and they can both be for a girl or a boy.

I took a lunch break and decided to watch "A Baby Story". I have watched it before, and it usually makes my stomach turn when momma is in labor. Well it did the same thing today, and I had to change the channel, I hate how queasy my stomach is! I am terrified enough to go through labor, so I should probably just not watch these shows lol.

I started reading Nicholas Sparks' "Dear John". So far it's really good, and I am looking forward to the movie. I always like reading the book first, or else I won't read it if I saw the movie and I know what is going to happen.

We were able to fix our water leak at the house, fairly cheap thank God. We were a little worried about having to spend a lot of money, especially with a baby coming. We went down and looked at a crib yesterday, and we are going to go ahead and get it. It's in pristine condition and its exactly what I want. A little more than we wanted to spend, but I think thats inevitable when its something that you REALLY want!

I am stuck back on shiftwork again, and it does crazy things to my pregnant body. Its a lot harder to switch back and forth from nights to days now that my body is supporting another. Its hard, but i have a great job that I enjoy 99% of the time.

Anyway, enough for now...

November and December

Well I went back to work at the beginning of November, and was still pretty sick. Not anywhere near as bad as getting sick with a broken collarbone, but still sick nontheless. I was glad to be back to work, especially since our bills were piling up, but getting up at 4am again was a challenge. And working nightshift was an even bigger challenge. (Still is, by the way...)

My shoulder still wasnt completely healed, but I was just glad to get that horrible brace off of me. To be able to blowdry my hair again was great! The little things that I never thought anything of, even pain in the butt things, are nice to be able to do if you can't do them for a while.

Now, on with Christmas and baby Lincoln!

Well, we didn't really do Christmas this year, with me being on disability and Eli losing hours at work. Christmas isn't for presents and all the craziness that goes on in shopping centers though. I think the past few years we all went overboard with it and it was great to really reflect on the real reason for the season. God sent his son, that He would die for our sins. I can't imagine even sending one of my animals, let alone my child, to die his death in the horrible manner that Christ died. How thankful I am for His death on the cross.

I ended up with a nasty sinus infection right before Christmas and wasn't able to attend the Christmas eve service at church. I then had to work on Christmas day, the day after and the 27th as well. All I did was sit in a guardshack all day long sick, twiddling my thumbs in complete boredom.

On Saturday, the baby started moving and my stomach was churning away. There wasn't any kicking, just wierd movement. Eli laughed and said it was probably just gas, but within 2 days, my pants would'nt button anymore. I had my 16 week doctors appointment a few days later, and sure enough, the baby had moved up quite a bit. Crazy...

So maternity clothes, here I come!

October 13, 2009

Well, I had been sick as a dog, thinking that the Vicodin they gave me for pain was causing it. Whoa was I wrong. Turns out I was 6 weeks pregnant... All I could think was "really?? now?"
It's not a whole lot of fun to have morning sickness, or all day sickness in my case, with a broken collarbone. And now, I can't have anything for pain except tylenol. You have got to be kidding me! Needless to say I felt pretty sorry for myself, again looking at the glass half empty. I wasn't able to go back to work because the company doctor wouldn't release me. So now, I am on disability, I have horrid all-day morning sickness, I can't even dress myself, and I have to wear the most uncomfortable figure 8 brace for the next 6-8 weeks! How was I supposed to look at the positive?

Here are the positive aspects of all of this now that I look back on it all:

1- God created a precious life inside me, and we are going to finally be parents :)
2- Since I am on disability, I don't have to be sick at work, where there isn't a bathroom very close to where I am
3- I am getting waited on hand and foot by a very sweet and understanding husband.
4-I got to get a new car, and sold my beater truck that doesn't have power steering, and even if I could drive it for a few more months, the steering wheel doesn't move and my belly wouldn't fit in there soon anyway.
5- We ate out a lot and I got to choose whatever I wanted :)
6-Family and friends came to visit and helped out with Diamond and such things.
7-I got to steal Eli's recliner for a whole month!
8-I got a much needed vacation :D
9-Bubble baths, lots of them
10- I am going to be totally fine in just a few weeks, because I am young and healthy, and God heals those in need.

So even though I was pretty pathetic for those 7 weeks, I realized all this other stuff and it doesn't seem like it was that bad anymore. And if I can deal with a broken collarbone for this long with no vicodin, I'm sure that a few hours of labor can't be that bad... right?

October 2009

On Friday, Oct 2nd I believe, I took my horse out for a ride. I got her brushed down and before I put her saddle on, I looked at her feet and saw that they were a little on the long side. "It will be okay, I'm not going to ride hard or for very long so we should be fine.

30 minutes later I was in the dirt, not able to move my right arm because of the excruciating pain. Diamond was bleeding a little bit also, but she was okay other than that as far as I could tell. The neighboor saw me fall, and he asked if I was okay. I was crying and I told him that I thought so.

I called Eli, my husband, but he was about 30 minutes away. I then called some friends that I hoped were closer by. (For those of you who do not know me in person, you don't know that I have a horrible tendancy to pass out when things like this happen... shots, small injuries, or dehydration usually does it for me lol)

There are two other horse at the place I was riding and I had locked them up so that I could ride Diamond. Well... they didn't stay locked up for long. (I'll also mention that everytime I have gone over to this place these two horse have kicked at me and tried to bite me.) They managed to unlatch their gate and they made a beeline for us. Knowing what these two were capable of, my adrenaline kicked in and I was able to shimmy myself up a lot faster that I thought!

I held Diamond's reigns as I shimmied through the panels to get away from the two, but was worried about what kinds of shenannigans they would pull with her. Thank God two friends of mine showed up. I wasn't able to unsaddle her or anything, I was totally useless, and a blubbering idiot. They were able to get her put away and cleaned up so that Eli and I could rush to the ER.

I walked into the ER smelling of horse poo and mud, and the pain was only getting worse since my adrenaline was wearing off. They took xrays, and woohoo, a broken collarbone. They told me to really watch where I walked because if I were to trip, the broken piece would probably pierce the skin. They tried to give me an Ibuprofen shot but i wouldn't let them, in fear that I would pass out because of the shot, and the bone would pierce the skin.

What a day... and we still had to go to out company doctor to see if I could come to work, and run around for prescriptions. Totally miserable, I thank God for friends who were able to get there quickly and help, I thank Him that I was wearing my riding helmet, and thank Him that it didn't end up MUCH worse.

As I look back on this day, I realize the mistakes that I made before even hopping on my sweet horse, and I realize how God looks out for me on a daily basis. And when all this was happening all I could see was how much pain I was in, not that I was going to be fine, and that I should be praising Him that I wasn't worse off.

The story gets better with the next post :) Ill leave it at that